Post by dealer on Dec 14, 2006 19:38:30 GMT -5
O.K. just wanted to try this. My grammar is the best and I'd appreciate any insight thou please don't be cruel.
O.K. so I'm leaving the original writings for those who are interested, but I'm changing the basic concept of this thread at this time. As Yoda was kind enough to point out my EU knowledge is a bit laxed and my grammer is less then par not to mention the fact that sitting down and righting a rough draft for a life audinence is less than an ideal way to proceed. So starting tomorrow I will post a outline and synopsis for one chapter as well as a look at crucial points leading up to the chapter and where the chapter should be taking you. Then from that outline I'll develop and post the finished chapter. However for one week to a maonth after it's posting I will be developing at taking any kind of suggestions and feedback you guys and gals can offer. Yoda gave me some great starting pleases and I'd like to thank him again for his opinion.
This is an idea I got quite a while ago right after seeing episode 1 in fact. The concept is the formation of the Jedi hierarchy and the birth of the republic. As well as answers to some of those nagging questions like how is anakin a slave and the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, what race is Yoda, why do the Jedi serve the republic instead of the other way around and stuff like that. Anyways enjoy...
intro
peace talks mean all out war
The galaxy was in great turmoil. Hyper speed had been invented some centuries but recently the Hutts had begun dispersing them across the galaxy in exchange for political favors and footholds on small moons. In less than a decade it had gone from little known specialty item to a standard edition to almost any ship. trade issues and their for trade regulations had become a concern of the whole galaxy. Every civilized nation sent a Representative to the space station Alterion. However shortly after the convention began a raiding party of mysterious fighters struck the space station and it exploded. All the civil nations blamed each other. The Jinthum, Edlion, Deico, and Ildium alone sustained from engaging in the war. It took the rest of the galaxy a vary short time to decide this meant that these four races must of been responsible for the tragedy aboard the Alterion. Still small battles waged against other planets and races. In some cases they said it was, because other planets refused to back them in a war against the four races, others said it was because races on their own planet would not except them as the master race, and if galactic problems where to be resolved their could only be one controlling race per planet. In large truth any small battle was better than attacking races that many other races viewed as their top advisor's. It was said the Ildium could see threw the fabric of time and space. Still the patients of the masses grew thin and the day arrived when battle fleets from crossed the cosmos entered the inhospitable atmosphere of the four nations. Shuttles began to land and forces began to invade, and in the mist of it all the four races where no where to be found. In the absent of the enemy for the forces had landed to engage they engaged each others forces. In the spires, mires, tundra, and hydra of these hostile home worlds. the galaxy and officially fallen into a dark age.
Meanwhile, on a black moon with an oily surface a small life shuttle settles down. six figures in faded gray battle armor rush onto the landing platform from a large door in the shuttles rear, followed by a larger warrior in a crimson colored armor. They didn't look battle harden even with their helmets concealing their faces.
"Landing pad secured" the crimson warrior stated in a calm voice into a speaker in his helmet.
A withered little creature with a leathery hide, that glimmered purple in the dim lite, exited on to the platform, "If they are not here they are close by. The act of the Sith this was. Fearful they are. Change they will try to stop."
"The other shuttles are fifteen minutes out."
"Wait for them they will, slow their approach they must. Kravious, slow your approach the Sith await your arrival I will disarm them here," The little being says in to the open air in front of him.
"I sense it to, we await your word," Kravious' response echoes in the purple figures large ears.
"Our comrades depend on us, the answers we must find."
"fan out boys and bring me back a sith sentry on the double." Jet backs ignite and the six soldiers take flight each in a different direction. The man in the crimson armor stands close to the small creature. Some time passes and all the sudden the tiny creature takes a black object from his cloak and with a quick turn a short purple beam hisses from the one end. A flick of the creatures wrist and the laser weapon begins to soar threw the air like an enlarged dart. A short distance away it strikes something that can not be seen and the invisible thing begins to bleed and materialize.
"Mirror armor, Sith's forge it out of Finlit it crystallize in chambers that run under the ground. Tell your men to carefully and quickly head back to the platform I sense a great many enemies around the platform."
"Yes sir. Men fall back on my position."
O.K. well that's it for tonight. I have to get ready to leave the computer lab at school now. Holiday break is coming up thou so I'm hopping to get far on it during the holidays.
O.K. so I'm leaving the original writings for those who are interested, but I'm changing the basic concept of this thread at this time. As Yoda was kind enough to point out my EU knowledge is a bit laxed and my grammer is less then par not to mention the fact that sitting down and righting a rough draft for a life audinence is less than an ideal way to proceed. So starting tomorrow I will post a outline and synopsis for one chapter as well as a look at crucial points leading up to the chapter and where the chapter should be taking you. Then from that outline I'll develop and post the finished chapter. However for one week to a maonth after it's posting I will be developing at taking any kind of suggestions and feedback you guys and gals can offer. Yoda gave me some great starting pleases and I'd like to thank him again for his opinion.
This is an idea I got quite a while ago right after seeing episode 1 in fact. The concept is the formation of the Jedi hierarchy and the birth of the republic. As well as answers to some of those nagging questions like how is anakin a slave and the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, what race is Yoda, why do the Jedi serve the republic instead of the other way around and stuff like that. Anyways enjoy...
intro
peace talks mean all out war
The galaxy was in great turmoil. Hyper speed had been invented some centuries but recently the Hutts had begun dispersing them across the galaxy in exchange for political favors and footholds on small moons. In less than a decade it had gone from little known specialty item to a standard edition to almost any ship. trade issues and their for trade regulations had become a concern of the whole galaxy. Every civilized nation sent a Representative to the space station Alterion. However shortly after the convention began a raiding party of mysterious fighters struck the space station and it exploded. All the civil nations blamed each other. The Jinthum, Edlion, Deico, and Ildium alone sustained from engaging in the war. It took the rest of the galaxy a vary short time to decide this meant that these four races must of been responsible for the tragedy aboard the Alterion. Still small battles waged against other planets and races. In some cases they said it was, because other planets refused to back them in a war against the four races, others said it was because races on their own planet would not except them as the master race, and if galactic problems where to be resolved their could only be one controlling race per planet. In large truth any small battle was better than attacking races that many other races viewed as their top advisor's. It was said the Ildium could see threw the fabric of time and space. Still the patients of the masses grew thin and the day arrived when battle fleets from crossed the cosmos entered the inhospitable atmosphere of the four nations. Shuttles began to land and forces began to invade, and in the mist of it all the four races where no where to be found. In the absent of the enemy for the forces had landed to engage they engaged each others forces. In the spires, mires, tundra, and hydra of these hostile home worlds. the galaxy and officially fallen into a dark age.
Meanwhile, on a black moon with an oily surface a small life shuttle settles down. six figures in faded gray battle armor rush onto the landing platform from a large door in the shuttles rear, followed by a larger warrior in a crimson colored armor. They didn't look battle harden even with their helmets concealing their faces.
"Landing pad secured" the crimson warrior stated in a calm voice into a speaker in his helmet.
A withered little creature with a leathery hide, that glimmered purple in the dim lite, exited on to the platform, "If they are not here they are close by. The act of the Sith this was. Fearful they are. Change they will try to stop."
"The other shuttles are fifteen minutes out."
"Wait for them they will, slow their approach they must. Kravious, slow your approach the Sith await your arrival I will disarm them here," The little being says in to the open air in front of him.
"I sense it to, we await your word," Kravious' response echoes in the purple figures large ears.
"Our comrades depend on us, the answers we must find."
"fan out boys and bring me back a sith sentry on the double." Jet backs ignite and the six soldiers take flight each in a different direction. The man in the crimson armor stands close to the small creature. Some time passes and all the sudden the tiny creature takes a black object from his cloak and with a quick turn a short purple beam hisses from the one end. A flick of the creatures wrist and the laser weapon begins to soar threw the air like an enlarged dart. A short distance away it strikes something that can not be seen and the invisible thing begins to bleed and materialize.
"Mirror armor, Sith's forge it out of Finlit it crystallize in chambers that run under the ground. Tell your men to carefully and quickly head back to the platform I sense a great many enemies around the platform."
"Yes sir. Men fall back on my position."
O.K. well that's it for tonight. I have to get ready to leave the computer lab at school now. Holiday break is coming up thou so I'm hopping to get far on it during the holidays.
I'm just glad I could be of some help; I had to stop writing for four months to get my life back in order after starting a new job and moving, so it's totally understandable. Besides, it sounds like you've got other projects that would repay your attentions nicely.